Alcoholic Parents: How Children Are Affected

If you have another parent or caregiver that is not drinking, and you feel safe opening up to them, consider reaching out. Additionally, there may be a distant or close family that you connect with who could be a resource for you, such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, or adult cousins. Children in such households may have a higher risk of developing substance use issues themselves, as they may perceive alcohol as a way to cope with their emotions or environment.

Interpersonal Effects

Lifestyle and mom blogger Samantha Eason was born and raised in Wellesley, Massachusetts, but currently lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband and son Isaac (aka Chunk). She uses her platform, Mother of Chunk, to fuse together her passions for photography, motherhood, food, and clean living. Her website is an uncensored space that covers life, both the beautiful and the not so beautiful. To tune into what Sammy and Chunk get into daily, follow her on Instagram.

What is the psychology of children of alcoholics?

The human brain experiences physical changes when it becomes dependent on a substance. The areas of the brain that impact thinking, feeling and decision-making are negatively impacted by alcohol and addiction. These changes can result in differences in behavior, emotional outbursts, and difficulty making sound decisions and maintaining good relationships.

Common Characteristics of Children of Alcoholic Parents

Counselors often know about addiction and how it impacts families and young people. They may offer resources, worksheets, or take-home assignments to help you deal with your emotions during this time. Although it can be normal to feel upset, scared, or distressed by your parent’s dependency, there is nothing wrong with you as a person. If you struggle with this idea, talking to a counselor can be a beneficial place to discuss these emotions further. As a teen with a parent who experiences alcohol dependency, you may wonder why your parent drinks so much or why they seem to choose not to stop. In these situations, it can be beneficial to note that addiction is a mental and physical health condition, not a choice, and many factors can impact the behavior of someone with an addiction.

Adult children of alcoholics can suffer from various mental health issues, including depression and substance abuse. Recognize the patterns of these behaviors to understand the root cause and help you or your loved ones find support. Evidence suggests that children of alcoholics experience significant distress during and after childhood. Children are more likely to experience depression and anxiety due to family instability and are significantly more likely to develop behavior problems like rule-breaking, defiance, aggression, and impulsivity. In adulthood, children of alcoholics are substantially more likely to develop substance use disorders. They also experience a higher risk of anxiety, depression, and personality disorders.

You learned to avoid him when he was in one of his moods and got used to him disappearing for days, or weeks at a time. You felt mad, confused, and sad, but mostly you felt helpless because you desperately wanted what everyone else seems to have—a normal, loving family. The adult child of an emotionally or physically unavailable parent can develop a debilitating fear of abandonment and hold on to toxic relationships because they fear being alone. According to a study by the National Association of Children of Alcoholics (NACOA), there are over 11 million children in the U.S. under the age of 18 living in families with at least one alcoholic parent. The statistics provided by multiple sources further break this down to about 76 million adults in the country who have lived or are currently living with a family history of alcoholism.

1. A mother with alcohol use disorder may struggle to provide a safe and nurturing environment for her child due to her addiction, potentially exposing the child to neglect, abuse, or unsafe conditions.
2. In a study of more than 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with AUD remembered their childhoods as “difficult” and said they struggled with “bad memories” of their parent’s alcohol misuse.
3. Lay out the reasons for the boundaries, why they are in place to protect your well-being, and that you hope to improve your relationship with him.
4. However, it often doesn’t carry the same stigma or social repulsion that other substances like cocaine or meth carry.

How to cope with alcoholic parents

It is important to remember that not all individuals exhibiting these behaviors are necessarily struggling with alcoholism, but they may be warning signs worth paying attention to. An alcoholic household can significantly affect a child’s growth and development. I treated people horribly, but I wasn’t really “me.” Today, I’m nowhere near that person now, mainly because I gave my lifestyle a total makeover. Once I rid my thoughts of believing that alcoholism defined who I was, there was a shift in my overall being. In high school, I struggled with the idea that I’d become a certain person because alcoholism was in my blood. And while genetics have proven to be a huge factor for addiction, it doesn’t define you.

One form of therapy that studies have found productive for some children of parents with alcohol use disorder is Drug Addiction Articles called forgiveness therapy. Studies have found that forgiving those who have hurt you can reduce depression, stress, anger, and hostility, and increase positive emotions. In turn, releasing those negative emotions can also reduce some physical health risks, such as heart disease. A professional counselor can help you determine if forgiveness therapy is the right option for you.

They may care little for the experiences of their aging parents or other family members. The determining factors of what makes someone selfish likely vary from family to family due to individual or cultural differences. Sometimes, parents or other family members may label an adult child as selfish for benign behavior, such as missing a birthday party due to work obligations. As alcohol addiction progresses, individuals can become dependent on alcohol and experience withdrawal symptoms if they try to quit or reduce their consumption. They may also experience physical and mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and memory problems.

Children of a parent with AUD may find themselves thinking they are different from other people and therefore not good enough. Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves. Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist/author specializing in addictions, codependency, and underlying issues such as depression, trauma, and anxiety. A parent who is an alcoholic has an impact on their child much sooner than they probably think they do. In fact, babies with an alcoholic parent can show certain tendencies when they’re as young as a few months old.